My Ongoing Journey to Inner Peace – Part 1
Image was taken in mid spring 2024.
This will be my journal for my own life experience….
My life- as far as I remember- had flavor of anxiety and stress. From stress of school’s exams, to university entrance exam, or as a woman to be in a man-deaminated society and profession. Then there was last year… when I entered to the strangest unexpected painful year that I never expected to happen to me.
Perhaps one day I’ll share the full story. But what I can say now is this: I found myself driving home one evening, overwhelmed, crying hard. In that moment, I cried out silently to something higher, to the greater good, “Show me you’re there. Show me I’m not alone in this world.” When I stepped out of the car, I looked up—and there it was. The sky. Vast, calm, breathtaking. I received my answer.
As my dearest angel in this world, Doctor Martha Beck is often mentioning in her podcasts and books, the universe is the kindest and the pure peaceful harmonic system. Only when it comes to human society and system, things become messy. (Her words are far more eloquent, but this is how I remember them! :-) )
What I learned This Past Year :
Whenever I feel deeply hurt, sad, lost or angry, I look the sky. The beautiful infinite kind sky. The limitless of sky reminds me of the wisdom of Omar Khayyam, the Persian poet: ”This too shall pass”.
Another life-changing influence has been Dr. Martha Beck’s powerful book, “The Way of Integrity.” In it, she shares her personal journey of committing to never lie, to herself or to others. I promised that to myself too : I do my best to never lie, not to myself, not to others. Being honest with myself and my feelings was the best thing and almost trickiest thing I am practicing. It is not easy but it worth it. It is the gate to cleansing myself and feel more self-love. Even the simple question of “how are you feeling today?” , if I had to answer to that, I promised to myself not lying that I am great if I am not. I don’t have to explain myself but I can say, “Thank you for asking, I am getting there ;-)” .
When I am anxious, or sad, I try to be my best friend and therapist, to hold my arms and hug myself. Then I tell to myself “I’ve got you. I am here for you. Tell me everything, let it all come out”. And when the pain, rage, sadness comes out, it is hurting less and less.
Writing down my feeling for 15 minutes only and for four consecutive day (after writing, burn or throw the paper). I have heard this technique from my therapist. This technique was introduced by Dr. James W. Pennebaker and it is called “Expressive Writing”. I never liked writing my emotions. But this was like a water on fire. Amazing!
And if you have access to nature far from humanized environment, go for walk or stay even 15 min there. Spend time with animals. Their purity, cleanse the soul.
And if you encountered to see this text my friend and you suffer or in pain. You are not alone. Try to do some small good gesture to yourself that make you feel better. Like go take shower, find a cozy place and cry as much as you want but wrap yourself with a blanket and take care of yourself with a warm tea. Or just go to bed and sleep (I have done LOTS of sleeping last year). And at the end of day when you go to bed, give yourself a big hug that you took care of yourself. The modern life took us from our true nature and we became even more slaves to the corporates, banks and strange twisted “civilization”. But the network of love and empathy, first to ourselves, then to others and to our mother of nature will give us the strength and super power. You are brave and you will be proud of yourself soon. This too shall pass.
